The Contestants |
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The Breakdown |
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Advantages
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Advantages
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Disadvantages
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Disadvantages
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Kills
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Kills
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How we think the fight will go
Severous Snape walks cautiously between the mausoleums of St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 in New Orleans. It is an hour before sunrise and he has his wand at the ready, a short broken wooden stake tucked into his belt.
Snape takes long strides as he walks through the foggy morning, his black cloak billowing in the wind. As he turns to his left, a dark shape falls straight down from the sky and lands soundlessly on top of one of the ancient mausoleums ahead of him, throwing up a cloud of dust in the predawn moonlit gloom.
“Lumos,” Snape says softly as he holds his wand, which casts a bright light in front of him. He sees a man rising to an upright position on top of the stone structure, pushing long blond hair out of his eyes. “The vampire Lestat,” Snape says slowly and precisely.
“Indeed,” says Lestat, “and what vampire are you supposed to be dressed as?”
Snape does not respond but transfers his wand to his left hand and moves his right hand slowly towards the stake.
“English tourists, always starting fights,” says Lestat, shaking his head. After a short pause, Lestat reaches out his hand and the stake comes flying out of Snape’s belt and smashes against a large stone on the ground between them, breaking into several pieces. Each of the fragments of wood are too small to be used for staking vampires, let alone as blunt objects for striking humans. Lestat leaps down from the mausoleum gracefully, hitting the ground running. He charges towards Snape and bares his fangs with a snarl.
Snape stands his ground, simply uttering “Tarantallegra!” as he lowers his wand at the charging vamp. Lestat is suddenly locked in place as his legs swoop from side to side, moving uncontrollably. Snape chuckles as he walks slowly up to the trapped vampire who is engaged in some kind of Italian folk dance from the waist down—and is throwing a fit from the waist up.
“You do know…” he pauses dramatically, “I am very well trained in defense against the Dark Arts, but if you insist on continuing this fight, here’s my signature spell—Sectumsempra!” Snape brings his wand down towards the trapped Lestat, and suddenly a force comes slashing through the air at the vampire. To Snape’s surprise it passes right through him, leaving him unharmed.
“Not so good against the dead, now is it?” Lestat says. He brings his hand forward and lets loose an enormous ball of fire at Snape.
Snape falls to the ground and then spins away from the blast of flame. He stands up, brushing off his robes. “You act as if I’ve never battled a dragon before,” he says sternly.
In a flash Lestat is on top of him. “You think you’re fast? I can tell you’re a little too familiar with, what did you call it? The Dark Arts. Intrigued are you? But alas I will not be turning you tonight.” Lestast pauses. “Though a wizard vampire… intriguing indeed. Never tasted wizard before. Sounds delicious,” and then dives fangs-first for the neck of his prey.
Snape bolts aside just in time and then silently casts a spell of invisibility, literally disappearing into the night.
***
Snape sits under a tree, cloaked by his spell, trying not to breathe too hard, lest the sound betray his position. He figures it is only a few minutes until sunrise and the vampire must have retreated into one of the plethora of coffins available to him in a place such as this. Still the wizard dares not move or make a sound until the sun is fully overhead.
As he crouches on the ground, he thinks back to the accusation Lestat made about his desire to embrace the Dark Arts. He tells himself there is no temptation, that he would ever go back to Voldemort’s side.
***
Moments later the sun is overhead…and Lestat is standing over Snape. “I can track you by listening to your thoughts,” he says. He points up to the sun. “You thought I’d run from that thing? I drank the blood of ancient vampires—Akasha and Mangus—better than any of your cheap potions. You wizards love tricks, do you? How do you like daywalking?”
Snape slowly rises, removing his invisibility as he stands. “Bloody Frenchmen,” he mutters, “always showing off.”
Lestat laughs, but his laugh is cut off as Snape casts another of his signature spells, “Langlock!” and Lestat’s tongue is suddenly stuck to the roof of his mouth. “Much better,” says Snape, who is now the one smiling. Lestat throws back his long hair and stares at Snape with a deathly stare.
The two beings begin to circle each other slowly and silently, each one locked in the other’s gaze. In a flash of movement, Lestat is behind Snape and with a great power beyond the strength of any mortal, throws the wizard to the ground. Working without hesitation—and with the speed of the ancient vampire he is—Lestat leaps onto Snape’s upper back, crouching over it as he pulls on the greasy hair, jerking back the wizard’s head. In a blink he is sinking his teeth into the stunned wizard’s neck.
Snape struggles against the grip holding him down and tries to pull his neck away from the hungry mouth, but once a vampire gets a taste…
Lestat does not have to use the full extent of his strength to restrain Snape, but he does. It is just better that way.
Lestat drains much of the wizard’s blood before releasing his head, still holding down his now weak body. “You make such a big deal of being a half-blood, but this mix… just enough human, very nice. Worthy of the title prince” As Lestat breathes in the glory of the kill, Snape—struggling to breathe—reaches in vain for his wand, which is lying inches from his hand, totally useless to him. “Accio… Accio,” he says sluggishly, struggling to get his wand into his hand before he expires.
Predicted Winner: Lestat
NOTE: THIS MATCH ENDS ON SUNDAY, MARCH 20TH, 2011, AT 5 PM, ET
Severus Snape is a character from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling; Lestat de Lioncourt is a character from the The Vampire Chronicles series by Anne Rice.
Severus Snape image courtesy of Grant Gould. Lestat image courtesy of Geffen Pictures
Josh Pollock contributed to this Cage Match
Snape would be dead before he could blink…Lestat moves faster than the human eye can follow, and he could twist Snape’s head off with about as much effort as it takes a grown man to unscrew the cap on a plastic pop bottle…
You have got to be kidding me about Lestat! He is NOT a daywalker. He tried that with disastrous results. Having said that, however, unless Snape knew a spell that simulated true sunlight, Lestat would definitely sever Snape from life.
I’m leaning towards Snape on this one. He’s familiar with vampires from his own universe and would know how to deal with them. Even if he doesn’t defeat Lestat with daylight, all he would need to do would be to cast charms against heat and physical force around himself, and then immobilze Lestat with Levicorprus. One swish of his wand, and Lestat won’t just have his limbs in knots, he’ll be hanging upside down, helpless.
Lestat could only really kill Snape with catching him off guard with brute force and speed. Snape, however, has numerous spells in his arsenal that would finish off Lestat.
I have to agree with AHEM, even though the odds might seem to be in Lestat’s favor, there is one major difference between them – Snape is a cold-blooded, calculated, exceedingly cautious guy who’s used to dealing with dangerous creatures. Lestat has one major flaw – his arrogance. He wouldn’t try catching Snape off-guard, he would want to size him up first, see what he’s made of.
And Lestat is a daywalker – he gets tanned really fast, but if the sun is not too strong he can take it. The disastrous results you’re speaking of were when he exposed himself to the sun in the desert.
What the heck? Why wouldn’t Sectumsempra work against a vampire?
Their Snape is too hesitant, he’d be throwing spells from the get go. Petrificus Totalus, anyone?
Snape has such an overwhelming array of spells at his disposal. Hell, there is probably an “anti-vampire” spell somewhere, Lestat would get pounded into bloody pieces.
Severus would put on a really good show. At no point in the HP series has Severus truly gone all out. The man wield spells without uttering them with speed of a thought and as numerous. Severus simply has more tools for the job.
Am I the only one who votes along the lines of author talent and craftsmanship? I’m not a huge fan of Rice, but she blows Rowling out of the water….
Snape would have just used incendio and killed him.
A tough decision but I think AHEM summed it right, though I lean toward Lestat.
Lestat is a devilishly intelligent, cunning and extremely powerful creature. One of the very few vampires in litterature I respect. As for Snape, he is the swiss-army-knife of magic, always seems to have several contingencies plans and the right tool for any situations.
But against Lestat, his only chance is if he was forewarned of the upcoming attack. Snape will never be fast enough to cast a spell on Lestat directly, unless he had time to prepare a trap that would slow down the vampire.
@ Bill.
But you must consider that Rowling and Rice books were not aimed at the same category of readers either. For my part, I truly admire how Rowling managed to encourage a whole new generation of youngsters to take up reading. In our current era it is an amazing accomplishment.
? why the debate Snape is probably one of the most powerful characters in the bracket simply because of Avada Kedavra
@Silius: Sectusempra wouldn’t work because Lestat is undead. They tried the spell against the Inferi (the zombie-things) in the 6th book and it gave them cuts, but because they were undead, they didn’t bleed. Lestat’s blood doesn’t flow since, being a vampire, his heart doesn’t work. Thus, a little blood might drip out, but for the most part it would be congealed and nearly solid.
That said, I have to give it to Snape on this one. He’s certainly far more cautious than Lestat, and, simply based on the movies (since I haven’t read Interview, only seen the movie), Alan Rickman is a far more awesome actor (and person in general) than Tom Cruise.
@Urthor: Lestat is already dead…. Avada Kedavra would do nothing to him!
I just want to point out the Lestat wouldn’t be able to hear Snapes thoughts because he is an occlumens
what crack smoking meatheads are voting in this friggin thing? is this for real? snape beating lestat? are you professionally retarded or just really gifted amatuers? You bunch of twiight loving pretentious little twerps. you are all homos, and not just in the gay way, the extremly insulting , you only do the catching way. Snape over Lestat…just rigoddamndiculous. such a load of bukkaki.
Um, John…I refuse to TOUCH that “thing”, so you can’t use that excuse on me. (If Edward Cullen was on top of a skyscraper, ready to jump, 97% of the world would be begging and crying for him not to….I’d be part of the 3% sitting down in lawnchairs, eating popcorn and yelling, “DIVE YOU SPARKLY BITCH!!”) As for Lestat, most of his “power” was given to him by Akasha, so if she’s not around somewhere, he may be a powerful vampire…but he’s still just a vampire. Not to mention the fact that if he was out and about doing this kind of thing, Mekare would be showing up to put him in his place, since after killing Akasha, SHE is the primary vampire (in their world anyway.)
(I can’t believe I just said that either…but as much as I love “REAL” vampires (Lacroix anyone? Even Eric?), I can “like” him, but Lestat is far too egotistical and flamboyant. Hell, while he was prancing about, trying to be all showy, Snape very easily could have shattered a nearby tree, and turned him into a pin-cushion (which would have been natural on Snape’s part, because there are always some vampires out there that can “move” their hearts, so he wouldn’t take a chance with it.) Also, considering his knowledge OF the Dark Arts (both while being a Death Eater and when he turned to the Order of the Phoenix and was set forward by Dumbledore to find counters to the things the others knew how to do), Snape wouldn’t have played around with Lestat, and he wouldn’t have made any mistakes about using spells against him that won’t work on the undead! Give me a bloody break there! There are plenty of spells he could have (and would have) used (what, Hermione can defeat Devil’s Snare, but Snape doesn’t know how to create amplified light? Hell, knowing Snape, he’s probably worked out a way to “imitate” sunlight, UV light, whatever has been used against various vampires.)
As it has been stated…REPEATEDLY…he is a master of the Dark Arts…and a Master of the Dark Arts would learn not just what he can do, but what can be done against it. Hence the reason no one could stop Voldemort before, because he came up with a few things all on his own, based on what he knew most people were incapable of doing because they loved or cared, etc. Whatever Lestat is, he’s proven far too many times that he’s hardly got a heart of stone. (As far as “Daywalkers” Akasha can…but it will kill all the younger ones…the movie pissed me off because Khayman was the ONLY reason there were other vampires, yet I had to watch the credits just to see if he was even in it! Saint Germain can (though there is no way in hell they could “make” him participate in this.) Dracula most definitely can….but only if he’s gorged himself completely. Most other vampires, no matter the “rules” of their particular universe, can not.)
I look at each of these fights from the capabilities of the people involved. (If I haven’t read the books, I don’t vote, since I do not know the characters.) It would have been entertaining to see Lestat remove some of the others. Simply bad luck on his part to end up against Snape this early. (Of course, I’m still pissed off about the whole Thomas Covenant/Alvin Maker match….)
Anyway, as much as I love REAL vampires, the only way Lestat would have won this was if he had taken Snape’s wand away…which, I’m really surprise he didn’t do. THAT would have had me accepting a win for him, since even Noseless has to have his wand to do anything…
Personally, I think this should have included a very hot sex scene. And then some betrayal and death. Seriously.
Wow, okay. You wrote this in 2011? after the books came out?
Wow. Just, wow. I can’t believe this. You got Snapes age wrong (he was 38 when he died) his intelligence level wrong (hes ovbously EXTREMELY intelligent), he’s an extremely powerful wizard (one of the strongest in the series), he can fly WITHOUT a broom, he can read minds, can use wandless and WORDLESS magic, he has remorse and can fight. And had you finished the books. You would know he is NOT a death eater, but an order of the phoenix member, and he was on dumbledores side all along. He was in love with Lily Evans. Oh, and he’s a potions master.
Try getting your information right next time. It’s painful to read this because of the lack of research you did